Stitches

I watched 'Stitches' mainly because, as well as loving horror, I'm also a big Ross Noble fan and was interested to see how his stand-up would transfer to acting. To be fair, he doesn't have much to do in the way of acting. His 'unconventional' (sorry, Ross) looks make it easy for the make-up department to transform him into an evil, undead clown, hell-bent on seeking bloodthirsty revenge on the party of children who caused his death in the first place. In short, Ross Noble steals every scene he's in. Sadly, he's not in it enough. He doesn't really come into it (proper) until midway through and, by then, you've been forced to watch your usual 'teen drama.' As this is a British film, I was hoping for something a little more original than 'uber-geek falls in love with beautiful girl who just so happens to be going out with an arrogant jock.' Sadly, that's all we get. All the (non undead clown) characters are total stereotypes. You'll know exactly who'll die the moment you see them. And die they do. That's where the film excels. I'm guessing it had quite a small budget, but it really makes the most of the gore. Some of the death scenes are truly disgusting (and hilarious in their over-the-topness). Stitches is worth watching if you like horror and Ross Noble. He provides all the comedy and gore which will satisfy you. However, sadly the film can never truly be a classic, as the first half is pretty bland and the second half is only ever really alive when the (dead) Ross Nobel is on-screen. It's a good film that's (sadly) wrapped up in the oldest movie cliché going.

Other users on this site seemed to enjoy STITCHES, an Irish comedy horror about a clown who comes back from the dead to seek revenge on those who had him killed, but I thought it made for a pitiful viewing experience. As a comedy horror it's a dreadfully unfunny film, one of those low budget productions with a script that confuses crudity for wit and remains continually unfunny as a result. Even worse, STITCHES is saddled with a grating lead performance from non-actor Ross Noble, who seems to regard himself as some kind of comedian; well, not on the strength of this amateurish production. Still, even Noble seems like a professional compared to the younger cast members, who mumble away in heavily accented English and remain incomprehensible for the most part. As the story goes on, it becomes apparent that the sole aim of STITCHES is to deliver one outrageous gore scene after another. There are body parts aplenty in this film with sick stunts involving brains, eyeballs, severed limbs and the like. The quality of the special effects isn't too poor for the budget, but aside from the basic gross-out, these gore sequences achieve nothing. They're not funny, disturbing, or horrific, just silly. As is the film itself.

Have seen the trailer and have seen so many positive things about this horror I was waiting for it's official release over here and let this day be the day that Stitches finally was available in the shops. Was it all worth the wait because face it, it was hyped somehow. Yes, for me it was worth the wait. I had a few good laughs and I enjoyed the killings, even as they were somehow funny it worked. Oh sure, if you think you are going to watch a scary movie or a slasher then you are wrong. This never came to me as a straight horror but it looked so British/Irish due the accents used and of course the one-liners said by Stitches (Ross Nobles). Oh yes, the clown do return out for revenge but when his nose was sniffing around for Stitches' victims it again was meant to be funny. The nose rolling around will be to much for some and could look ridiculous but it's a clown out for a kill so face it, this is how a clown it should do. On part of the horror the killings were mostly on the edge of gore. When ones intestines are taken out by Stitches it's a gory delight but immediately he's making figures with the intestines. How funny is that. I was in this movie from the beginning towards the end. I enjoyed it and you could spot that the director Conor McMahon knew his classic shot like the classic slasher POV shots. Stitches shows how funny situations and gore can be combined in one package even as it is done sometimes in CGI. Gore 2,5/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 4/5 Story 3/5 Comedy 1/5